


"Thanks."

by originxlshipping (MyNeverEndingDistrust)



Category: Pocket Monsters SPECIAL | Pokemon Adventures
Genre: Blue (M), M/M, This fic had 0 right to take so long to write but anyway
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-19
Updated: 2016-02-19
Packaged: 2018-05-21 15:20:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,610
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6056491
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MyNeverEndingDistrust/pseuds/originxlshipping
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Red is so concerned about Blue's life, he doesn't worry about losing his own.<br/>(He also doesn't worry about how Blue would feel if he were gone)</p><p>Blue is so concerned about Red's life, he doesn't realise how underappreciated the boy's efforts are.<br/>(He also doesn't realise how Red would feel if he were gone)</p>
            </blockquote>





	"Thanks."

**Author's Note:**

> Ok ok I have a few things to say about this fic so hold on to your hats.
> 
> FIRST OF ALL, YOU PROBABLY KNOW BY NOW THAT I USE BLUE(M) AND GREEN(F). I STG THE NEXT PERSON THAT MESSAGES ME ABOUT IT ON TUMBLR WILL GET A FOOT IN THEIR ASS. BOTH THE JAPANESE NAMES AND THE ENGLISH NAMES ARE TECHNICALLY CORRECT, AND LITERALLY NOT WORTH BUGGING ME OVER. AT ALL. JUST DONT READ IT. JFC
> 
> Anyway, a friend of mine finished FRLG much more recently than I did. She was particularly interested in Red's constantly self-sacrificing attitude, and a lot of his seeming disinterest in preserving his own safety. She mentioned that Red cares a lot more about saving others than saving himself, and even after his fight with Blue about battling Deoxys, when he mentions that he's fighting this war for himself, he still doesn't seem to care if he makes it, as long as whoever he's with at the time does. Mentioning that, I brought up the fact that only a few characters seem to appreciate that, and Red gets little of the recognition he deserves for being so selfless, and that may be what contributes somewhat to preserving that attitude of self-sacrifice; Red rarely gets any praise for being so noble and selfless, and yet he tries anyway because that's just who he is.It upsets him, but he won't say it.
> 
> While we were on the topic of this arc, I mentioned that Blue's horribly explosive attitude in FRLG is a direct contrast to his colder personality in literally every other arc he's in; even though he's never exactly the patient type, FRLG was something else entirely to me, and I think it comes from all the stress he's under at the thought of losing everyone in this battle, which is shown to be pretty likely.
> 
> The idea for this fanfic came from me going "let's put them together and explore the relationship between these two attitudes!" So I guess Needlessly Self-Sacrificing+Worried About Losing People = Whatever the fuck this is. Blue isn't good at expressing concern (or anything else really?), but he's afraid to lose people he cares about. Whereas Red needs people to be concerned about him, but is totally willing to die for people he cares about.
> 
> AAA I HOPE THIS MAKES SENSE it makes sense in my head but if it doesn't to you I'm here if you wanna scream @ me about character interpretation or w/e.
> 
> Now onto my next thing, which is kinda personal so you can totally skip it.
> 
> When I write fanfic, one of my biggest anxieties comes from not being enough like canon. Worrying that if the fic isn't enough like canon, it's not any good. I feel like I'm squandering the brilliantly written pokespe story for my own desires; I feel as though in order for the fic to be "right," it should encompass all the major AND minor characters, cuz they were in it for a reason. Like the fic should have a plot similar to that of the manga so that the characters interact like they do in the actual story, you know? (This is where I've messed up in previous fics) I feel like it's wrong to not have my plots not be close enough to the manga's (that's why I'm always worried about my irl aus that never include Pokémon, since the series relies somewhat on relationships with Pokémon). The way a lot of people in the fandom talk about the manga, too, makes me feel as though everything I write is gonna be ooc unless it has bits of canon, like the plot of a fic is a bastardisation of the manga, and that shipping is stripping characters of who they are. I think I've seen people say these things, people in the pokespe fandom, and it really effected me because I'm impressionable and I was like "nobody will like my fics because they're not like canon. They don't have enough canon characters or canon-esque interaction."
> 
> This fic was definitely me trying to speak over that. I don't think this way about anyone else's fics but mine, so I know that I'm being irrational. I did my best to avoid manga canon with this fic, to only include the characters I wanted to write about, to just make sure that I got what I wanted out of this story. I don't write for anyone else. I write for me. So this fic is me trying to not care about what I think other people are going to think about my fic. If you don't like it, you're always welcome to tell me why, I'll appreciate it. I just really wanted to fit back into my own writing style and write my own interpretation of the characters and not fucking worry about canon or the fandom.
> 
> That said, I hope I don't go too OOC cuz my entire purpose for writing fic is character exploration but whATEVER! WHATEVER! Like I said, I always appreciate constructive criticism so if u think they're ooc, or that I'm not treating the manga right, feel free to tell me why! It's always better to hear it from someone trying to help than from my own whiny mind.
> 
> There. I feel a bit better now. Sorry about all that. Hope you like the fic (which is probably shorter than this note lmaooooo)

It’s funny, actually, his name is Red and he's splattered with blood. The stuff seeps through his clothing and clumps in his hair, and it’s juxtaposed with Blue’s pale, clear skin and still freshly scented clothes.

Their limbs are intertwined at odd angles and Blue's body aches all over from the impact but it’s nothing compared to Red's chipped canine tooth, bloody clothes, and badly bruised face.

“Sorry, buddy,” Red chuckles, licking his bottom lip where it's bleeding. He loses his balance to pat Blue on the shoulder and then rolls off of him so they lay side by side in the blood-spattered grass.

The no-longer-rampaging Rapidash pound by, rustling the grass lightly around them. They're not on the path to Viridian City anymore, which is what Red and Blue had aimed to accomplish. The pack of Houndour that had been chasing them, thereby causing the stampede, can still be heard snarling menacingly among the trees.

Aerodactyl descends confusedly from the sky.

“We did it,” Red breathes tiredly, covering his face with his arm. “Yeesh.”

Blue’s head lolls lazily around to look at the boy. Red notices Blue’s look and changes his expression into a sunny smile.

“You okay?”

What? Blue can't even dignify that with an answer. Red leapt out of the sky to knock Blue out of the way of the stampede and covered Blue’s body with his own until the horses passed, and he's _still_ checking up on him? 

Blue snorts. “Fine.”

Red sighs in relief. “God, I need a hot shower.”

“You need medical care,” Blue corrects him, poking him in the chest for emphasis. The older boy winces, shoving Blue back.

“‘M fine,” Red sighs, “c’mon, let's go back to the Pokémon Centre. I need a nap, and you should take one, too.”

Despite how much Blue would indeed enjoy taking a nap right now, he can't put a stopper in his irritation with Red’s recklessness. There was no reason that Red needed to protect Blue the way he had.

“You go. I have some phone calls to make.”

“Wha-?”

“I'll bring back some Pokémon food later. Just go.”

Both of them sit up at the same time, and Blue aims to ignore Red’s confused stare as he pushes his achy body off the ground and faces the city.

“Okay, then. See you.”

Blue screws up his face, releasing Charizard.

The dragon swings its head to look at Aero, who Red’s giving a congratulatory pat. Then it gives Blue a derisive snort, blowing a bit of fire from its nose as though it’s disapproving Blue's actions. But Blue's defending himself and Red by doing this, he thinks. He has to give Red some time to think about why he's so unnecessarily banged up. Even as he looks back, blood is still drying on Red’s swollen cheek. 

Blue hates seeing Red like this, dammit! What a selfless idiot.

\---

It’s been about three months since Blue’s last seen any of his friends. He's gotten a lot of training done and has been able to put in some good hours at his gym, as well as attending all of the scheduled board meetings, as boring as they may be. Being the technical last leader in the order before the Elite Four, he's got a lot of protocols to memorize and understand. 

A little hard work never hurt anyone. That being said, he can't wait to get back to his little cottage-esque house by the gym (which he barely uses) and go to sleep. But then something on the roof of his gym catches his eye, and he's never been one to avoid something that makes him curious.

He circles the gym a couple times to be safe, but the shadow figure seems to just be a person. Who the hell is loitering on his gym? He touches down on the roof a few seconds before his Charizard does, but as he steps forward the dragon chuffs amiably and makes a cooing sound, which makes the figure turn around.

“Hey, dude, long time, no see!”

“Red?” Blue's step stalls and he stands still, confused.

“Where’ve you been?”

“Around. I-What are you doing here?”

“You don't look too happy to see me. And why’re you wearing your cape again?”

People always take him more seriously when he wears it, not to mention it keeps them from seeing him crossing his arms and mumbling things under his breath. 

But the way Red’s looking at him, amusement squishing his expression into that of a child, makes Blue pull the fabric off of him and toss it onto Charizard, who growls at it.

“Business meetings. Now what're you doing here?”

Red frowns and sticks out his tongue. “Don't wanna see your old friend?” He demands jokingly, crossing his arms, which is how Blue knows he's kidding. He raises an eyebrow, waiting for an answer. “Green heard you were back around home, so she called me and said we should hang out for a bit while she visits Johto.” 

Blue smiles despite himself at the thought of Green. Even though he's creeped out by the fact that she somehow knew he was home again.

“So she's not here, too?”

“Nah,” Red turns his gaze out over the dimly lit homes of Viridian as he says it, “just me. Sorry.” He jams his hands in his pockets. “I'd been hoping for a Pokémon battle, but you were two hours later than I expected!” 

Pikachu makes a bored, exasperated sound to punctuate. Blue snorts.

“I have a job to do. And I didn't know you were coming.”

Red makes a ‘blah, blah, blah’ motion with his hand, but nods in understanding. “Hey, can we get some dinner?”

“Wh-we?” Blue's only half upset; he doesn't mind Red staying with him, of course. In fact, he’d missed the boy. Seeing his face makes Blue wonder why he even left. 

But hey, he’s been busy. Definitely too busy to be fussing about Red’s safety.

“Yeah, I'm starved! I've been waiting here for you forever.”

“No, I mean why don't you go stay at a Pokémon Centre?” 

Blue predicts Red's response before he even has it: “What, tired of me?” He pouts. “You're gonna put me out on the street?”

Red sounds like he's been hanging out with Gold. Too tired to argue, Blue rubs his eyes grumpily and huffs out, “Fine, I have to pick up some things for the house anyway.”

Red whoops excitedly slings his arm around Blue's shoulder. Freely, excitedly. Yeah, fine, maybe he kinda missed this.

\---

_Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit!!_

Blue keeps getting stopped up by fits of hacking, the bitter smoke coating his tongue and burning his eyes. He can barely see Red; though the bright flames illuminate the creaking building, thick clouds of dark smoke hang low in his face and block most of his vision. 

He hears a sharp snap through all of the crackling and then Red’s pained yelp reaches him soon after. 

“Red!” He yells, skidding to a stop. The response he gets is a fit of coughing. “We don’t have time for this!”

“Like it’s my fault,” Red snaps hoarsely. “My leg is stuck in the floorboards-!”

A torrent of water slides past him, wetting his boots, to his mild dismay. A path through the flames is cleared on the wet wood, but much of it still makes blossoms of black smoke billow into the air. The house is still hot as hell, and Blue ultimately regrets his constant wearing of sweaters. 

Red’s hand catches Blue’s sleeve and tugs him along, the both of them resuming their running because even after they descend the stairs, they’re still a storey up from the exit and the building is still very much on fire. Poli, who’s very slow, is retracted into his ball until they need him again. 

Something falls and clacks against the floor, rolling away from them at a reasonable speed. Blue jolts to a stop and goes after it, being careful to keep running along the wet floorboards.

“Blue-!” Red stops too, coming back after him. 

“It’s just a Pokéball,” Blue hisses, “keep going, I’ll catch up!”

The old, abandoned house had gone up in flames thanks to some pissed-off fire Pokémon taking out its anger on the overgrown front garden. Of course, the flames had spread, and the boys noticed the smoke as they were flying by.

The building was full of wild Pokémon who’d taken shelter in there soon after the house was abandoned, which -judging by the location and state of it- was a long time ago. Red was horrified at the thought of all of those Pokémon getting hurt, so he changed course immediately. But there were so many Pokémon in there, too many to create a line to get safely out of the house, so the two of them caught all of the creatures and secured the balls to their belts. But there were so fucking many-

The ball had an Oddish in it. Blue coughs painfully as he puts it back on his belt, and the building seems to crack and groan in response. 

“Blue!” Red howls, but Blue barely even has time to turn and see what he’s yelling about before he’s thrown to the ground and something huge blocks his vision of everything in the house.

“Red?”

It seems that the older boy is incapable of anything but inhuman sounds; this time his answer is an anguished groan. The shadow blocking Blue’s view is Red’s Aerodactyl, blocking the flame he’d been flung into. The dragon makes pained noises as it looks back at what Blue assumes is its trainer.

_Not again._

Blue coughs again as he heaves himself up and pushes past Aerodactyl to get to Red. The boy is heaped on the floor, folded in on himself and shivering violently. A huge, broken piece of the floor from above them is lying, burning, beside him.

“Fuck, Red, we don’t have the fucking time for this,” Blue chokes out, having no choice but to call out his tired, strained Golduck to clear a path for them to get out of here. With Aero’s help, Blue hoists Red onto his shoulder, ignoring the hoarse, agonised groan that Red gives.

This is what they get for always being the fucking heroes. This is what Red gets for always being the fucking hero. 

With Golduck (irritably) clearing the way and Aero blocking the flames, Blue is able to slowly drag Red’s increasingly deadweight body down the stairs and out of the house. Aero starts nudging Red and snorting as soon as they’re in fresh air, and then fans the boy with its wings when Blue finally sets him down.

“This- this is n-not how today w-was s’posed to go,” Red moans, eyes lidded heavily as he blinks wearily in the daylight.

“Golduck,” Blue orders, limbs shaking with the relief of no longer having to support both his and Red’s heavy bodies. The Pokémon nods coldly at them and heads back to the house, shooting jets of water on the rapidly collapsing wooden shelter. Red frowns after it, making weird motions with his mouth.

“‘M thirsty,” he mumbles. Blue barely hears him over the sound of the adrenaline pouring out of his body and the understanding of the situation flooding in. He retracts his hand from around Red and there’s blood staining it. Red gasps in pain at the motion.

“What the fuck were you thinking?” Blue screams, though it hurts his throat to do. “You fucking ass, did I ask for you to jump in like some kind of hero?”

Red blinks dumbly at him for a second, then squints in confusion. “Sorry, did you want to get hit by a chunk of the ceiling?” He rasps, clutching his shoulder. “I saved you!”

 _I don’t need you to save me if it means throwing yourself under the bus for me!_ “Don’t you think about anything? Do you have any impulse control?”

“Do you want me to stand by and watch you die next time?”

“I want you to think about yourself for once!”

“You could have died!” Red yells, voice straining. Damn, is Red not getting anything he’s saying? Doesn’t he understand-?

“I don’t want you getting hurt for me!”

“I don’t want you getting hurt because I didn’t do anything about it!”

Blue stops the argument by dissolving into burning coughs, doubling over on himself. Despite everything, Red pats him on the back with his good arm until the hacking dissolves into gasps. Blue side-eyes the older boy, catching his concerned expression, even through his own shaking breathing and flushed, sooty face.

Jeez, Red’s not going to get it, is he? How valuable he is? How much he means to-

Blue gets up shakily, supporting Red on his way up, too. “C’mon, let’s get some help. We're no good like this.”

Red leans heavily against Blue, and despite his irritation- all of this is essentially Red’s fault and it’s not like he’s forgetting that- Blue supports his friend the whole time they swap around their Pokémon so that Charizard is out and everyone else is away, and makes sure that Red is able to hold on securely before they take off into the sky.

\---

Pika’s cheeks spark threateningly every time Red hisses in pain, and the little mouse glares at Blue over its trainer’s shoulder the whole time. Blue wants to flinch at it just to seem threatening, but he’s trying to be neat with his bandaging job, so he lets Pika stare at him.

Blue makes sure his touches are gentle; Red’s wound is not only bloody and raw, but also burned. Red didn’t want the nurse to help with it, though. He was adamant, albeit polite, about just getting the materials and a room key.

Red turns so that he’s looking at Blue as best he can. He’s sitting on the bed in front of the younger boy, holding Pika in his lap for comfort.

“I’m sorry, Blue.”

Pika’s ears twitch, making its surprised response similar to Blue’s. He wraps the bandage around Red’s chest and makes an ‘I'm listening’ noise. Red sighs.

“You’re right. I don’t always think when we get into things like that, okay? I guess,” he sighs again, roughly, and Pika rests a comforting paw on his elbow. “I guess, when I was growing up, it was just me and Poli. It’s not like I had any friends or family to get back to.” He shuffles uncomfortably and drops his head like he’s tired of holding it up. “If things got a little too... hectic, Poli could go back to the wild and… and nobody would be missing me, you know? I guess I never really think about myself in situations like that because even after all this time I still feel like there’s nothing to lose. That there’s still nobody waiting for me.”

Blue’s hands stall, tracing over Red’s bruised skin. “Red-”

“Not done.”

Blue snorts grumpily, but lets him explain his ridiculous behaviour. Pika snuggles comfortingly into Red’s stomach.

“You were my first friend, did you know that?” He hadn’t known that, actually. “The first constant, first person that kept comin’ around. Even if you were an asshole.” 

“I-”

“I always think I’ll miss you, but I never think that you’ll miss me.” Blue’s chest feels a little bit heavier at Red’s words; of course he'd miss him. “I guess I could stand to take a sec to think before I do things sometimes.”

“Sometimes?”

“Fine, most of the time. I always forget- I really have to remember that I have people, and Pokémon, of course, who care about me now.”

Blue fastens Red’s bandages with a safety pin and tries to ignore the fluttering in his chest. 

“Look, Red, I’m sorry for yelling.” He takes a moment to sigh, trying to justify to himself that, yes, he’s admitting he was wrong. It feels wrong, dammit, but if Red could do it, then so can he. “I always forget that I’m not only looking out for myself anymore. That sometimes it’s okay to not put all the responsibility on myself.”

Red turns to face him again, so he turns away, tucking bare edges of bandages underneath other strands of the fabric.

“It’s not like I need you to save me, but maybe I’m not always top of my game. Today, I really might have been hit by that floorboard if you didn’t save me.” He is mature, he is a grown human being and he can admit when he needs help; besides, Red had been really brave to do this for him, and god knows Blue hates cowards. “So we both could stand to do some growing up, still.”

“I’ll be more careful, and you let me help?” Red holds up his fist, and Blue huffs, bumping his own fist with Red’s.

“Deal. You big kid.”

Pika jumps up onto Red’s shoulder and chirps happily at Blue, cheeks no longer sparking. _Thanks,_ he mouths sarcastically, and the Pokémon clicks its little teeth at him.

Red gets up, grabbing his shirt off the nightstand and slipping it over his head. Blue tries to ignore the blood that’s blossoming over the white bandages on Red’s shoulder. Despite what they'd said, Red doesn't look any better.

“You okay?” He asks steadily. Red blinks at him amiably. 

“Of course!”

And Blue frowns, because even after all that, Red’s still doing it. _I’m fine._ Hopefully as soon as that wound heals, this’ll all be over. Red won’t throw himself into the line of fire for Blue, and Blue won’t have to watch Red get hurt for him.

_I always think I’ll miss you, but I never think you'll miss me._

Blue coughs roughly, grabbing for the honey that the nurses gave him and trying to direct his train of thought to something other than Red’s fake smile.

\---

“Hey, Gym Leader. Got time for your pal?”

Blue looks up from his clipboard at the familiar voice. Red waves as he heads over, his footsteps echoing in the relatively empty gym.

“What're you doing here?” Blue asks confusedly, setting aside his notes and getting up to meet his friend. Despite his thrill at seeing Red again, the boy was supposed to be in Johto doing some training, not here.

“Ah, Johto didn't agree with me. Great region, but everyone's so old, and all of the kids either were afraid to fight me or weren't strong enough.” He sighs, flushed, and rubs the back of his neck. “I was gonna go to Mount Silver, but I decided to come over since it's pretty close. So here I am!”

“Ah. I thought you got hurt or something,” Blue says truthfully, shrugging off his assumption. Red makes a face of fake offense.

“My Pokémon and I never get hurt when we're together.” He sticks out his tongue. “Maybe it's just you. Besides, who could get hurt after making a promise like ours?”

“You remembered.” He doesn't mean to state it so coldly, but Red smiles softly at him and punches him lightly in the arm. 

“Yeah, I remembered. Why? Were you scared I forgot?” He asks in a sappy voice. “Do you care about me?”

Blue snorts at Red’s ridiculous tone, giving his friend a gentle push. “Sure, whatever.” Red laughs, and it brings a smile to Blue’s face as well.

The older boy's laughter dies quickly, though, and he gives Blue a strangely uncharacteristic smile. “I'd lose it if you got hurt, ya know.”

Blue flinches at that. “Red-”

Red seems to realise what he said, and brings his hands up to his chest defensively. “Ah, whatever, the reminder of your friggin’ peace treaty made me think that. I just thought you should know why I do it.”

Blue hesitates, and then touches his friend's shoulder, shaking him a little. Red doesn't have to feel bad for being strong. He doesn't have to defend himself.

“Your trip to Johto must have been rough, huh? Nobody could appreciate how strong you are.”

Red blinks, looking at Blue's hand on his arm and then blinking as though he's wondering where this came from. But for Blue, it's all just clicked, why Red hadn't felt comforted on the day after the fire, what Blue had never said to him, what those kids in Johto never even thought to say.

“Everyone appreciates what you do for us, Red.” Blue mumbles, a little uneasy about sharing his feelings like this - again. “Even if they're scared of your power. Or even… even if they're scared of your weakness.”

The brunet tenses pridefully, like he's preparing to defend himself. 

“But those kids in Johto still know you're the one who saves all those people all the time. I… I know you're the one who saved all of those people, including me.”

Red blinks at him, eyes turning glassy. He softens, reminiscently.

“I just don't want to see you hurt.” 

He longs to get closer, he doesn't want to have to hear all of his explanations coming out of his mouth, he just wants it to be out.

“But I, and all those people… we appreciate you. Far more than you know.”

Blue nearly gets knocked over by the force of Red’s hug, stumbling to regain their balance.

“We'd all miss you if you were gone. I'd miss you.”

“Thanks, Blue,” Red mumbles into his shoulder, clutching tightly to his shirt. “I guess I didn't know, but… that's all I needed to hear.”

"I should have said it earlier.” Blue laments, finally getting himself accustomed to the hug. “ Thanks, Red.”

**Author's Note:**

> Hmnhmbh I'm still not even satisfied with how this came out. But c'est la vie, I guess.
> 
> Um, if any of the analysis (not my complaining abt the fandom OTL) in the start note seems unrelated to the fic or any parts of the fic seem unrelated to each other, mention it so I can fix it? I tend to get off topic ahahha
> 
> I was gonna jump up and scream hA! NO KISS MOTHERFUCKS but then I realised I haven't written a kiss into a fic since like.. 2012... When I was 12 and my writing was still shit. And this fic wasn't all too romantic, anyway, since that wasn't what I was going for. But I put it in the ship tag because I still feel like I was showing a closer relationship than "regular." Idk.
> 
> Everything Blue does seems more IC to me if u picture him w/ a deadpan face IMO like whenever I'm worried about my characterisation of him i just think of him saying it deadpan and I'm like ya I'm good
> 
> ITS 2AM LOL I'll edit this tomorrow but if u saw any mention of Green or mentions of Pika in scenes he's not in, lemme know? Green was in the scrapped draft and so are a couple of scenes with pika so ye.
> 
> Maybe I'll give this a sequel? Maybe much later, because I fiNALLY GOT THIS FIC AND _Heart and Soul_ OUT OF THE WAY SO THAT HALF-WRITTEN CHAPTER OF _Lilac Skies_ CAN BE FUCKING C O M P L E T E D. NOT TO MENTION THE OTHER FICS IM TRYING TO PLAN (Preciousmetalshipping, Potentially Huntershipping, and Namelessshipping; geT READY FOR TOO MANY ONE-SHOTS)SO ONLY MAYBE
> 
> I talk too much lmao see ya


End file.
